This was a question asked of me on my former blogging platform. Here’s the answer I gave:

That’s an interesting question. The short answer is, nothing. I can’t make an experience with God happen. But I guess you’re asking because you’ve read the stuff I’ve written here and here on the practice of silence and about the retreat I did at the Southern Star Abbey.

To explain, my good friend Nigel put a quote up on Facebook recently:

On Spiritual Disciplines: One day a disciple came to his master and asked, “Master, what can I do to become enlightened?”
The master replied, “As much as you can do to make the sun rise.”
Confused, the disciple replied, “Then of what use are all these disciplines?”
The Master said, “So that when the sun begins to rise, you do not miss it.”
Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat . Spiritual Literacy (New York: Touchstone Books, 1998)

That nicely sums up what I do and why I do it.

God isn’t mine to manipulate and cause to do whatever I want done. He isn’t mine to experience. He just is. I expect nothing from Him but recognise He has already given so much and for that, I am thankful. My response is to simply open my life to Him and to give it back to Him. Recognising that such a desire from me is also a gift from Him.

All the spiritual disciplines I undertake are simply directed towards shaping my life and being in that direction. I still myself, embracing contemplation through prayer, silence and reading to do nothing but move into His presence and place my life there. If, by His grace he were to grant me any sort of experience, that would be a gift, but I can do nothing to cause that to happen. All I can do is make sure I’m there when the sun rises. I don’t want to miss it.

The spiritual disciplines are therefore a continual act of surrendering our lives to the Divine. This is something I desire and attempt to do while often failing at it and stumbling through – but I keep going because I trust, and because life no longer feels right without it.